~ we are chiwasu ?!

arli has yet another great post. a post she created enos back when she was 16? presenting, ‘paper crane’ from a girl’s angle.

Paper Crane

He gave me a paper crane
One night in a blue café

Sat beside me in the theatre
We laughed together

Yet I shunned him
Rebuilding my Iron Gate

Ignored him stab him
Wishing him to go away

Heart yearned for affection
Soul wanted no commitment

Mind idolized perfection
Brain thought it was improper

Feeling tremendous pain
I had fallen for him

For the first time ever
Flawless me was actually

Feeling unworthy and vulnerable
Empty of all true essence

Loving a beautiful stranger
Who’s near yet so far

Having neither desires nor expectations
Without possessiveness or jealousy

I want to love him for just being him
Simple things are so hard indeed

The theme of my poem is about the internal conflicts faced by an individual when falling love. It is something that I have a deep attachment to and really expressed my innermost feelings at that particular period of time. I wanted to capture the intense moment but sometimes emotions are too complex and difficult to comprehend. Hence only through poetry I am able to put into words what was in my heart. I do not expect anyone to really understand the underlying meanings in my poetry. But it will be nice to share with others who might have experienced what I did then.

Paper Cranes are supposed to symbolize friendship and luck. Friendships usually results in intimacy, caring for one another and love. It makes you think when the line between friendship and love intersects and whether platonic relationships between males and females can really exist in the long run. At the same time, love relationships can successfully exist only when there is a bond of friendship between the two partners and not just as lovers or due to society’s obligations such as having a marital status.

Sometimes out of fear of being hurt and ridiculed, people will tend to build a wall around them. For me, I had barricaded my heart with a tall towering Iron Gate. I suppose it is a form of automatic defense mechanism, especially when facing something unknown and unpredictable for the first time. If love is a battlefield, I am merely a soldier defending myself from the attacks of the enemy. The enemy can be cunning and deceiving at times, appearing kind and playing with sweet scented flatteries.

I used four personifications for Heart, Mind, Brain and Soul, giving them human-like qualities and roles to play in my life. All having their own opinions and impact on the decisions I make. These four characters make life’s a rollercoaster and can be extremely irritating at times.

It is hard to describe my first time falling in love. It was totally unintentional, almost magical. Yet at the same time I did not want to because it scares me so. Falling in love meant towards the next stage of maturity in life, but I was not ready. I kept denying what I felt, even going into the extreme of repressing my true feelings.

Nonetheless, I was glad that it happened to me as now I am able to view love and many other things related to it differently. It enabled me to cherish my loved ones even better and love my greatest enemies. If you only love those who love you back, where is the greatness in it? But it is hard as I am an ordinary human being who could easily become judgmental and always holding on to petty grudges.

Love does not necessary be reciprocated or full of fireworks. It has to come straight from the heart, unblemished by unrealistic ideals and expectations. Love comes softly like the ruffling of the leaves by the wind, with no one knowing that a great big storm is approaching. The storm can be murderous and unyielding. But at the end of it there is always a rainbow with its seven wondrous colors reclining magnificently across the horizon. That is how I define love.

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comments anyone?

of course, his royal highness is unfit to give any.